Occupying Time during Boring NASCAR Races

It’s their biggest race, and it’s probably their most boring.  A lot of people flip it on because it’s the second major race of the year.  Whatever.  Here’s what you can do during, or instead, of watching that Durrtona Five-Hundy.

First off, good god look at those hideous tacky jackets they’re making everyone wear.  I hate NASCAR.

- Watch a Samurai movie

That’s what I’m doing after this entry is posted.  Today’s selection will be Sanjuro, Akira Kurosawa’s sequel to Yojimbo. Netflix streaming is your daddy.

- Make a pie

First and foremost, pie is delicious.  Second, it usually requires some semblance of effort. I was going to make a coconut cream pie, but then I remembered that I’m traveling for work Tuesday.  Certainly not enough time to consume pie. This idea also gives you something to comically throw at your television in a fit of rage.

- Clean out your ears

Well, you’ll probably be inspired to do so as Darrell Waltrip makes ridiculous claims that you are convinced he didn’t actually say (like Dario’s four NASCAR races are the reason that he won the 2009 IndyCar Series championship). Luckily, we’re IndyCar fans.  We’ve heard of things called q-tips.

- Hate

Really, there’s so much to hate about this race: it’s boring, no one races until the last thirty laps, it’s on Fox, it has Dale Jesus. The only things connected with it that I can come up with that I don’t hate are Max Papis and JPM. 

- Take a nap

It’s the most acceptable nap of the year.  You can get half-a-night of sleep and still wake up for the end.  You can dream about the moonlight on the Wabash.


7 Responses to “Occupying Time during Boring NASCAR Races”

  1. Allen (SandWedge) Says:

    Don’t forget the Olympics is on right now, people jumping the length of a football field, Scott Goodyear would be proud!

  2. Brian Says:

    LOL at Allen and the Goodyear comment. I’ll bet he could wax poetic for an hour about Apollo Anton Ono’s heartrate. Hell, Goodyear’s even Canadian. They should have him doing something.

    As for Daytona…… I wonder how long it will take Jimmy Spencer to complain about the Daytona surface the way he did about IMS after the AS400@tB fiasco a few years ago. Think he’ll address a problem with the COT? Bet we get crickets chirping.

  3. H.B. Donnelly Says:

    Eh, Daytona’s not so bad (assuming the track has been properly paved, naturally) because of the level of unpredictability and the amount of car control those guys have to use to stay straight when being shoved by another car every five seconds. Just about all other nascar races are pure, unadulterated bollocks and should be avoided at all cost.

    Every time I want to cast a stone at nascar about cars looking the same or manufactured competition or their series being represented in public by a bunch of fools or one driver/team dominating, I have to give a sigh and retreat back into my glass house. Here’s to 2012 and hoping IndyCar can regain its place as the motorsport of choice.

  4. Mike Silver Says:

    Another thing I did to pass the time is order tickets to MidOhio. Then I watched them patch the track. Then I watched the Olympics. Then I watched them patch the track. Then I ate dinner. Ihen I watched them try to decide how many restarts it would take for dale Jr. to have a shot to win.

  5. DZ Says:

    There was a race yesterday? Hn.

    So if I understand the facts correctly
    1. The race dropped the green flag at 1:18pm.
    2. It is a 500 mile race with 43 cars.
    3. This is their biggest race of the year.
    4. They are the “world center of racing”?
    5. The track was in such poor shape that POTHOLES needed repair (they didn’t move this race to some backwoods Michigan road did they?).
    6. Many fans left due to the delays.
    7. The race actually ended under green flag conditions (after the third try).
    8. The race ended at 7:45pm.
    9. The apprx race time was 6.5 hours less red flag delays of 2.4 hours = 4.1 hours over 520 miles = 127mph average. 127??!!

    I’m sure I’m ‘preachin’ to the choir’, but seriously? How can anyone look in the mirror and honestly say that this is any form of motorsport in the 21st century? Indycar is not perfect, but this is somehow superior???

  6. Vic Says:

    As an English teacher, perhaps my personal mission in life should be to teach everyone Nascar-related the difference between the use of “good” and “well.” Apparently, those boys never heard of well. Correction….a well’s where they get water from!

  7. Oblio Says:

    Sooo… I get the whole NASCAR-hatred thing, but our fair open-wheel series’ of note, IndyCar and F1 in particular, have also left a lot to be desired at times. Frankly, I’d rather watch the Long Beach Grand Prix (snore) on TV than sit thru the Cup races at Fontucky or Las vegas or Charlotte.

    However, what gets me all fired up about many NASCAR races is the pure physics of the sport. I’ve actually turned around some tin-top haters by getting them to think of dem races from a scientific POV. Momentum, slip angles, friction, aerodynamics, G-loads, set-up dynamics… all to go-fast on an oval. And the two road courses they run… OMG… that is damned good racing, they need to do more of it!

    Thankfully, F1 and IndyCar were pretty damned good last year, and I have a sneaking suspicion that we’ll see more of the same, natch, there will be some blowouts… I can’t get my Dad to sit thru an open-wheel race, bores him to tears… but from this race fan who loves him de NASCAR and de open-wheelers, try a different perspective sometime.