One Positive About Each Constructor

All four 2012 proposals are in.   Since you all are so negative, I’ll give you what I feel to be the largest positive of each:

Swift

The Swift Light concept is good, but I think it’s just a little short of awesome.  My proposal to Swift is to incorporate the lights into drivers’ helmets.  Attach them to a driver’s central nervous system and make them analogous to a giant, glowing mood ring.  I mean, sure, Scott Dixon’s helmet will always glow blue, but imagine the colors we’d see with Danica during one of her tantrums or Tomas during one of his glove throwing tirades.  We’d be seeing colors never humanly conceived, and it’d lead towards a logical sponsorship from Crayola.

Delta Wing

The Delta Wing’s best feature is its backside.  You other brothers cannot deny. Delta Wing has got a motor in the back of its Honda. 

That said, I am a little cautious on the Delta Wing when I’m reminded of the words of the great American philosophers Bell Biv DeVoe: "Never trust a big butt and a smile."

Lola

GUNS! 

When I first saw it, I thought that Lola was clearly listening to the fans.  It is indisputable that is a weapon of some sort, and it is indisputable that the Series needs more weapons.  I’m just glad that I wasn’t the only one to see this, as the recently Unsilenced Pagoda observed it as well.

Dallara

I don’t really have any good jokes about the Dallara, but I will commend them for not making their concepts primer gray.

6 Responses to “One Positive About Each Constructor”

  1. Brian Says:

    Swift or Lola, hands down. No DeltaWang.

  2. nickh360 Says:

    The fact that you quoted Sir Mix A Lot and referred to Bel Biv DeVoe as ‘Great American Philosophers’ qualifies you as the single most credible source of IndyCar information on the internet.

  3. Roy Hobbson Says:

    The GUNS!!! They’re divine! They’re like rear-mounted laser musket rifles — a futurist nod to the past, if you will. I think I’m in love.

  4. Roy Hobbson Says:

    *futuristic

    /non-caffeinated
    //shit

  5. Andy Bernstein Says:

    I have been tring to find proof of the “open source” Delta Wing concept: so far, specific questions to define the supply chain and the exchange of information have gone unanswered. Here’s another example:

    Since the Delta Wing chassis is obviously a full ground effect design, will it not require active suspension control to avoid tunnel evacuation in pitch incidents?

    Hopping the turtles with a rear wheel, as in the case at the end of the Mid-Ohio sim, will significantly disrupt downforce generation. If active suspension technology is a component of the design concepts, will the cost and complexity of this system be approved by the sanctioning body?

    I read that blueprints of the Delta Wing were to be posted, and that anyone from peers of Graham Rahal to experienced design engineers could donate their intellectual property and solicit supply contracts.

    Right now, I can’t even get questions answered.

  6. Andy Bernstein Says:

    Thanks to Delta Wing for a response today. Others with questions may submit them to:

    http://www.deltawingracing.com