Lord Randall Bernard, Officially Metal

July 6th, 2010

I haven’t bothered to read the article, but according to the Indiana Business Journal, Lord Randall Bernard is going to start slaughtering animals, namely cows, to resurrect our sport.

And not just any cows, mind you, but sacred cows.

The IBJ has been given a lot of flak recently, possibly unfairly, for judging Lord Randall as a C, I presume on the classic A-through-F scale (why was E left out?).  I guess I think it’s premature to assign the guy any grade because he’s still got that new CEO smell.

Well, after releasing vague engine specs and forming a committee that will probably come to some sort of vague, inconclusive conclusion, because that’s what committees do, Lord Randall is finally doing something straightforward and 100% undeniably awesome by promising to kill cows.

Killing cows for entertainment is pretty metal, but I’ll have to see the performance before I decided if it’s 666, The Number of the Beast metal.  It’s at the very least 667, The Guy Across the Street from the Beast metal, if not 668, The Neighbor of the Beast metal.

Frowny Emoticon

June 2nd, 2010

For a group of us, the biggest news of the day has nothing to do with engine specifications. 

I’ve only been at this blogging game for about three years. Coming in, I knew of three people who had been doing this thing before me.  Two of those were a college kid from the northeast and a freelance corn-dude (oh, and maybe everyone’s favorite source of sunshine,. She’d be #4 and I know she’d been working less-bloggy things longer).  The third person on the then existing and active stage, was Jeff from My Name is IRL.  By giving me a few links and using a few of my pictures every now and then, Jeff did as much to build this site as anyone.

You see, in my mind, there is a top tier of IndyCar sites that I care about…sites that are just pure sources of uniquity and brilliance.  Sites that are just flat-out better than mine.   Jeff’s has always been one of those.  Today, the IndyCar-centric blogosphere got a whole hell of a lot weaker.

I just wanted to write this to give an outward thanks to Jeff for his kindness.  I never got to meet him, but I still hope to one day.  As bloggers, we get treated far better than we should by track and league officials, and we owe him a ton for that.

God, I feel like the annoying kid from Shane.

1-Day Forecast for the 94th Running of the Indianapolis 500

May 29th, 2010

Ok, so I’m writing this from my iPhone because I decided not to lug my laptop home for the abbreviated weekend. I apologize in advance for any issues with formatting, spelling, grammar, etc.
Ugh. This stupid thing lost the post I just wrote up, so I’ll quickly summarize:
- hot. Air temperature around 90, but it will feel a whole lot hotter in the stands, especially with the fat, hairy, sweaty guy radiating right in front of you.
- humid. Relative humidity near 60%. The fat, hairy, sweaty guy may also affect this.
- calm. Very little wind, maybe a 5 mph breeze.
- rain. A 20% chance, and I wouldn’t expect much more than a brief rain delay if it does hit. It would be a quick, and potentially heavy, shower. With the heat, though, I’d expect it to dry up fairly quickly and wouldn’t worry too much about weepers.
Ok, I’ll update if I think anything different, but right now, I’m pretty confident in seeing 500 miles.

A Star-Studded Indianapolis 500

May 26th, 2010

It’s official.  This year, the Indianapolis 500 is going to feel those good vibrations and dance with the devil in the pale moonlight.

First, Michael Andretti will be driving the two-seater on the parade laps with Marcus Mark of the Funky Bunch.  Yeah, he’s done other things since 1991, but I can’t really name anything else right now off the top of my head…well, other than Roller Girl.  He’s a superstar.

Also, they’ve gotten the last surviving joker (RIP Cesar Romero) to start the race.  That’s right, my boy Jack Nicholson will be in the house to drop the green flag and class the place up exponentially.  W, X, Y, and Z, oooh! Oooh!  OOOH!

Speaking of Jack, I sure as shi’ite feel like the Indian Chief at work this week.  Every time I walk past a drinking fountain, I’m tempted to pull it out of the wall and throw it through a window to escape.  Four more days!

Bump Day Forecast – 94th Running of the Indianapolis 500

May 23rd, 2010